Emotions Are The Colours of Life

22 October 2023 | 4 min read


The so-called negative emotions don’t have a good reputation. I can understand that, but that’s such a pity.

We are often scared of those emotions. We don’t like them and can even feel uncomfortable being around them. But in our pursuit of happiness, we may miss something vital that those emotions give us.

Emotions and thoughts are so closely linked. There is no emotion without thoughts, and if we don’t think emotional thoughts, we don’t feel any emotion. But if we don’t feel any emotion anymore, or just the one we want, then the colour palettes of life become very limited.

Our emotions and feelings are not only essential life-saving sources of information; they are also the colours of life.

So, today, I would like to share a reflection on happiness that goes against the grain. It may sound strange, but it absolutely makes sense to me: happiness is neither the ultimate goal of our life nor mandatory in all circumstances. I know it sounds odd, but please wait a moment before you judge.

Happiness is a beautiful state of being, a possibility, a promise, an opening, a potential, a chance, a wonderful and natural experience of well-being, a delicious pleasure, even our original state. But it´s not an answer for everything.

Sadness, anger, fear, mourning, guilt, doubt, etc., have as much reason to exist in our lives as happiness and joy. The universal force at the origin of all things would never have put them on our life path if they did not have an essential role to play in our existence’s divine theatre.

Like the flame that hurts when we put our hands close to the fire. Like the smells that warn us against certain foods. Like toothache or fever. Like the shade that protects us from the sun, the day that would be nothing without the night, death at the end of our lives, or the warm and cold play of seasons. It all belongs together, and it all makes sense.

All emotions play a role in our existence, even those we dislike. They don’t deserve denial.

What, in fact, often frightens us with the feelings that we perceive as negative and wish to avoid at all costs is that we often get confused and sometimes even overwhelmed by the experience we go through. And we don’t like that. Why? Because it is unpleasant of course, but also because we don’t always see and understand the intelligence behind our experience. So we resist, ignore, distract ourselves, and try to avoid at all costs those thoughts and emotions that cause us so much discomfort.

So we sometimes wear ourselves out in pursuit of happiness, not because we look for happiness in the wrong place (yes, that too sometimes) but because we don’t know what to do with the other feelings that may need our attention.

There is no reason to want to live happiness at all costs, to pursue it obsessively or fake it, when it is actually not what our soul needs most at the moment.

What if, we just needed to realise that happiness is always there inside of us, that it is that purest, most faithful and oldest part of us, present in us, even in our moments of despair, ready to take over as soon as it is given permission. But only when it’s its turn.

There’s no need to force happiness to come when it’s not the time. It’s already there, it’s waiting for us, it’s not going anywhere. It will appear in our lives in small pieces to remind us that it exists so we don’t forget.

Sometimes, it is not happiness that we need to experience. Other feelings deserve our attention. We need to give them the right to express themselves so that we can extract the essence of what they have to share and fully experience all facets of life.

It is okay to grieve; it is okay to feel angry, sad, or hurt. It is okay to feel what we feel when we need it.

So sometimes, it is worth staying in the uncomfortable feeling for a moment to explore and understand what is happening in us and why:

  • Some thoughts that want to be heard?
  • Memories that wish to be remembered?
  • A wound that needs healing?
  • Dreams that want to be taken seriously?
  • Our soul that communicates with us through our body?
  • Or just a bad mood that will pass in a moment?

There is wisdom behind everything and all our emotions, from the most beautiful to the most draining. Understanding their divine nature, accepting them all, and learning from them is a gesture of generosity towards our souls. To deny their existence in a lifelong rush in search of happiness is to ignore a part of ourselves that deserves to be understood.

Knowing that happiness is within reach and available at all times allows us to live all the emotions that come through us with confidence and serenity without risking getting lost in them for eternity.

It gives us enough space to live them fully and draw the lessons they contain so we can let them go and reconnect with our natural well-being and genuine smile.

I am sharing this reflection with you as it may speak to some of you. Writing that was important for me, as it definitely speaks to me.

“Our thoughts are the divine paintbrush we use to paint a picture of how we observe and relate to this reality we call life.” Sydney Banks.

With Love,



Written by Drissia Schroeder-Hohenwarth

Transformative Coach for Leaders, Teams and Organisations with a fascination for the endless potential of the mind.

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